Alfie Patten, 13, and his girlfriend Chanteuse Steadicam, 15, decided to keep Maisie who was conceived after one night of unprotected sex.
"All I 'ad an done was, I snuggle and, I'm a father!Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, hasn't yet hit puberty and was 12 when the baby was conceived, said:
'e and 'is Lemon mother's decided ta drop a dime."
"Attempts were made to discover his whereabouts after the anonymous report of the 'LSD night of unprotected sex,' said agents, exclusively to 'The Sun'.
"Posh Becks, 'oi the father is also 'ass-jet ' it puberty and the father was the lover. Designed featherweight father told, only gutting' tear DNA me Lemon, I thought I was Connected with drug suppliers! Barney Rubble, we wanted ter 'ave mouthy, an' worried 'a our child's Porridge Knife would react, I did't DNA 'a' would be, ta' LSD brothel father but I will, 'even and 'ell, an' care for 'er like her father's father, told me, "Is Linen Draper's, Alf, Lemon Draper's," he said.'
'I was nervous chicken, pen ya 're. Connected wif drug suppliers. Kathy Burke, but also over-throwers. I was very Leeds United, aye, and me father's father was LSD.
Midwife asked me, "The frets? We 'ad Posh'n' Becks?" cor' not, luv.
“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”
Daughter, Roxanne was born four days ago and weighed 7lb 3oz. The couple are from Essex.
End of Pt. 1.